Well I'd completely forgotten why I left the DP realm, well besides the fact that it's dead. So much drama! This is why I'll never be involved in a fandom again. No one has a sense of humor. Period. It's hurtful and sad to me, but there isn't anything I can do to change it.

I've always preferred to remain simply anonymous and not get involved with anything or say anything to anyone. Too many noses just get wacked out of joint for even the littlest things, but I forgot. I have SUCH LOVE for DP and many of the people in the fandom that it's easy to forget that said other people don't feel the same love and camaraderie I do. I am an extremely timid, shy and unconfident individual, obviously my fears are warranted. I will NOT trust myself again.

I have erred and broken my own rule of staying out of "things" and dared to make a comment about DP-Angst Day, which in and of it's self is a really cool concept even if the motivations are a little silly. I stupidly, stupidly assumed that there was a bit of humor in the whole DP day of angst because really what more could it be? It's a trick, a ploy, a gag to bring some kind of life into fandom which was in its last death throes two years ago. If that isn't angst, I don't know what is, but in my being my normal silly self, I have apparently offended people and my motivations have been misread just as much as I half misread theirs. The very fact that they were offended was a profoundly hurtful shock!

My intention was NEVER to offend, NEVER to belittle, Never to make fun of, just to perhaps give people a little bit of a smile, a giggle, make them say...OOKKay that was random and weird. Laughter is good. My expectations were too high and I broke a pact with myself and somehow have gotten involved in a drama which really shouldn't be a drama anyway.

I want to tell these people to get overthemselves, seriously, but I understand why they cannot or won't. It's all right. I realize my mistake and I can only hope my apology is taken as sincere and heartfelt as it was meant. But I fear it will not be taken well and I am heartbroken.

I will try not to fall into the trap of being an egotistical writer assuming I am instantly understood just because I'm fairly well read ever again. I have learned my lesson and am duly humbled and deeply ashamed.

I have been trying to win back the urge to write DP you must understand and I was hoping that the DP-Angst thing would give me back my will. They would say, "Hey you're random, who cares if you can't write DP, join us anyway (See I was egotisitcal thinking 1. they would even care and 2. That I ever belonged). I also gave them the benefit of a level of maturity they're not capable of and I'm so so so sorry.

And so doing the rest of my will to write anything DP EVER has been summarily killed. Danny for me is now dead. Now I truly mourn. I am ill. My heart is shattered.

It's funny the whole thing is a microcosmic example of a world I just don't belong in. I am finding it difficult at this moment to even find the will to do anymore than cease all things entirely.

--
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He steps up to the bar and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, are you aware that you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate says, "Aye, and it's driving me nuts."

Come out and Face me Coward!

--
I'm crazy,
Therefore I'm sane

Thanks for the ~!

_{Thank you for the favourite, I hope you enjoy my future works. Love =Flutterings x}

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_{Current avvie by =angelishi!
The original owner of this account is now at ~Devilnumber2.
This account is now under the control of *harvest-jacobina.}